The Adventures of the Mzungus

We are enjoying our second day in Lilongwe, Malawi, patronizing one of the few establishments that is actually open on a Sunday. After spending a week at a remote hostel in Nkhata Bay on Lake Malawi, it's nice to be in close proximity to stores, restaurants, cash sources (Note that "close proximity" is a 20-minute walk away). We paid dearly for our week in Paradise and our current enjoyment of such civilized luxuries with what has now been termed as The Minibus Ride from Hell.

Purgatory may be more appropriate, since we were wandering the country in shameful and inhumane transportation. These buses rattle around on bald tires, gears grinding and engine whining in protest for the amount of cargo they squeeze on there. I won't go into it too much because I still shudder to think of it. The way they load buses here is like trying to fit 5 pounds of s*** into a 1-pound bag. I'm not kidding. A mother and her three children were crammed onto one seat, and there was a chicken rustling around somewhere in there. My hips are still sore from being compressed into my "seat," which was a folding seat that Bob and I shared and also served as the main aisle for the bus. This at least meant that we got to get off occasionally and stretch our legs.

At least it only lasted for 7 hours, until we arrived in Lilongwe and were told not to leave the bus because, as one local man put it oh-so-delicately, "there are thieves everywhere." Bob received a real-life illustration of this point when some thug made a (thankfully unsuccessful) half-assed grab for his wallet. Poor Bob. He's had all of the bad things happen to him. He's had tummy problems, a near-miss with a pickpocket, and he doesn't get nearly as many comments on his posts. So help him out with that one.

We haven't learned too much of the local language, Chichewa, except for the universal word for "white person"--mzungu. I am comforted whenever I hear it, thinking, "How sweet. They must be talking about us." It's hard to believe we've been in Africa for a month now and have such a short time left. Tomorrow we take off on safari in South Luangwa National Park in Zambia, which is rumored to be one of the best game parks in Africa.

Hope everyone is having a good time gearing up for the Christmas season. Thanks for all of your comments. We really enjoy reading them. Much love to everyone.

Jorts

This is the second time I am writing this post. I was finishing up the first one yesterday at an internet cafe when it started raining, and was told by a very nice woman who works there, "Sometimes, when it rains hard like this, it's not good to type long e-mails." And then my screen froze. So my apologies if these "sloppy seconds" aren't the witty nuggets you were hoping for.

We arrived here in Blantyre, Malawi on Wednesday night, a mere 6 hours after we were scheduled. An old man tried to tell us we should sleep on the bus because it was too dangerous, but luckily, our bus driver (who wants us to help him find a job in the US) took pity and arranged for our safe transit to our hostel in a taxi. The 2-day bus ride from Joburg was, needless to say, unforgettable. We're heading out again today for the fabled Nkhata Bay, hoping to spend more than 3 nights there, which will be a luxury considering how we've been constantly on the move pretty much ever since Cape Town.

For the capitalists among you (John Venable), you'll be happy to know that the Western entrepreneurial spirit is alive and well here in Africa. Unfortunately, this means that hapless consumers are also getting the tackiest items that a free market economy has to offer, such as jorts (jean shorts, for the uninitiated) and music by none other than Eminem. Street stalls sell anything from fruit to traditional wood carvings to cell phone chargers to underpants. I never thought about buying panties on the street before, but maybe I should. I also saw a "Praise Jesus Shop-For your Drinks and Snacks." Apparently the Red State cultural revolution is alive and well here also.

To encourage posting comments, I will now "shout out" to those who have. Apologies if I forget anyone.
Shannon: Great news about Atlanta! I'm also happy you gave your mom the web site so she can check in.
Jules: I ended up seeing your comment after all. Aren't you the techno-savvy one!
Bubs: Your email on your academic conference was riveting, especially the part about the hair cut. Glad your schedule is slowing down and sorry my Jo Jo assistance can't be offered this holiday season. Speaking of holidays, y'all should let me know if you want any sort of crafts or curios, and I'll send some home. One would think you have what you need from last year's trip to Zambia, especially since some items (i.e. salad spoons) still aren't used frequently.
Kate: Where have you been? I'm making an exception in shouting out to you, you non-commenter.
Ben Jammin': Thanks for checking out the site. Hope the trip back to the motherland was good for you. Shame you can't be around for the Turkey Day festivities.
Srygs: At least John Avise isn't asking us to write letters of recommendation.
Jennifer: Thanks for all of the recommendations about Malawi. I chuckled to myself when reading in Lonely Planet about getting to Liwonde, as they recommend hiring a boy to take you there on his bike, but watch out for the elephants. Oh, and I don't know if I'm going to be able to get you the ostrich eggs. Did you want plain or decorated?

I think that's it for now. I really enjoy reading all of your comments, and if you're a regular to the site, you should check them out as well.

Shameless

I think Garth Brooks wrote that song about us, because when it comes to mooching and imposing on strangers, we have few, if any, qualms. Bob is especially talented in this area. A prime example was yesterday. We're currently in Johannesburg, but nowhere near the city center. We had wanted to visit the Apartheid Museum and found out that a group of American students staying at our hostel was going, so naturally Bob beseeched their tour leader to let us tag along. And he did, for the price of only one beer! Fantastic! Perhaps this should be cross-listed on the "Mooch Across America" web site (yeah, you know who you are).

The museum was, like most attractions relating the racial conflict of this country, intense. It's hard to believe it happened in our lifetime. Of course, the group's priorities were slightly skewed because we stayed at the museum for 2 hours and then headed to the mall for the next four and a half. That's right.

Hope all is well in your local malls. I love the smell of commerce in the morning! Love to all.

From the Land of Incommunicado

This is the second time I've had trouble getting into my Hotmail (motto: "If people aren't paying, why bother?") account in a few days, and I apolgize to my loved ones for missing out on any messages and for not being able to write. Calling is prohibitively expensive as well, so I suppose we'll all just have to be techno-savvy.

For those of you marking your maps, I'm writing from the South African town of Knysna, along the "garden route." We're sharing a rental hatchback with two English girls we met at our hostel in Cape Town, and they're good fun (maybe too much fun, as this morning can attest). In the grand tradition of Mel and Bob, we've left important stuff behind at our hostels...twice. Hopefully the learning curve will change after episode Number Two. In any event, we've been able to survive because South Africa is very modern and accomodating. We'll be in Port Elizabeth on Friday and afterwards are heading north to Malawi. Jennifer Gill, if you're reading this, please send me a "must see" list. Not like I'll get it, but it's worth a try.

Yesterday I rode an ostrich at a farm near the metropolis of Oudtshoorn (typical for an Afrikaans name, except a little shorter and with a few less dipthongs). This town is nuts about their ostriches. You can buy eggs (both for decoration and cooking), leather products, feathers, meat, and of course, the ubiquitous Beanie Babies. I had an ostrich eat food out of my mouth and Bob received his first, and probably last, "ostrich massage." This bounty of fun was available to us for a mere $4.50 each!

The fun never stops. Hope all is well back home.

My Travel Companion is like a House Cat

It's amazing. Given a surface with a horizontal component to it, Bob will fall asleep. Note that it does not matter how much sleep he has previously gotten, he will pass out. Immediately. It's very impressive.

I observed this feline trait of my gentleman friend over the course of our grueling 48-hour+ journey to Cape Town. While we are still fighting the effects of jet lag to some extent, we have been able to go "wandering" throughout and are pleased with our surroundings.

Our hostel is a mecca for long-term travelers. Talking to them inspires us when it comes to route planning but also reminds us of the ever-apparent reality that traveling is a bug for which there is no cure. As one 60+ year-old put it, "Once you've done it once or twice, that's it. You're done. You'll be traveling for the rest of your life."

Where we go from here remains to be seen. Our only agenda is that we fly out of Lusaka (in Zambia) on December 5. For the time being, we're happy to explore the Cape and all of the possibilities for our journey.

Peace out.