Overcoming Embarassment

A few weeks ago, I wanted to rent a movie that I had heard was good from one of my favorite blogs, www.gofugyourself.com. Unfortunately, when I went to my local Blockbuster, I had difficulty finding The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I searched high and low, in New Releases, Comedy, and Family, but to no avail.

I had balked at seeing the movie initially, despite its above-average reviews, namely because I thought nothing good could come from a title that included the phrase 'traveling pants.' I couldn't imagine walking up to the ticket counter at the movie theater and saying it out loud. Likewise, I was too embarassed at Blockbuster to ask the friendly employees where I might find the film, and left empty-handed.

(I went back the next day and met success by looking on the 'Drama' shelf; the movie was amazing and you should watch it when you get the chance.)

Despite my delight at finally locating the cloying, girly tale of 4 BFF, I could barely look the checkout guy in the eye while I was paying for the rental. It brought back unpleasant memories of the movie-snob employees at Vision Video in Athens sneering at my entertainment selections. I felt a reaction similar to the one I feel whenever saleswomen at upscale boutiques look down their noses at my scruffy attire, which is a desire to scream, 'DUDE, you work in RETAIL!'

This is why I love shopping online, especially at iTunes. Nobody knows about my bad or bizarre tastes; my face may turn a little red when I see that they're recommending 'George Michael's Greatest Hits' based on my past purchases, but that's before I take them up on their offer to buy the album for $9.95. And then I ruin the chance to conceal this appalling taste in music when I gloat about my purchase of the Spanish verson of Enrique's 'Hero,' or put *NSync's 'Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays' on a non-Christmas mix CD I make for a friend.

Romance Never Ends

Mel: You got a credit card statement in the mail today.

Bob: How much do I owe this month?

Mel: I don't know. As a general rule, I don't open mail that's addressed to you.

Bob: Well, you're certainly welcome to do so.

Mel: But what if you've recently bought me a fabulous present and I see it on your credit card statement? It would ruin the surprise!

Bob: You'd be surprised when you opened the envelope.

Hair to go with the shoes

Many thanks to weddingchannel.com for providing me with a signature look.

The Modern Bride's To-Do List

Those of you who know me well are aware that I am fond of lists. They are useful for a) enumerating experiences, b) providing comic effect, and c) preserving relational harmony, as in, 'You can't get mad at me for not taking out the trash even though it is overflowing and smells like rotting cantaloupe, because it WASN'T ON THE LIST you gave me.' See what I mean?

Since I am nothing if not a Modern Bride, I thought I would blog about my bridal agenda:

1) Find someone who will do my make-up and not make me look like either Casper (default setting) or a Vegas drag queen.

2) Adopt a tanning strategy that won't leave me orange, covered in allergic pustules, or visiting a dermatologist every 6 months for the rest of my life.

3) Experience my first bikini wax to prepare for a stubble-free honeymoon.

4) Locate gifts for my bridesmaids that are darling, useful for women ages 14-29, and preferably monogrammed.

5) Meet with personal trainer to tone the delts, eliminate triceps flab, etc.

6) Convince the hacks over at Student Health to write me a prescription for a sleeping aid. I tend to get insomnia when I'm excited, and what's more exciting than transitioning SnuggleBunny (Bob) from live-in boyfriend to husband?

7) Figure out the shoe issue, which has already hit a few glitches. See below.

8) Read self-help book entitled, 'Overcoming Vanity on your Wedding Day.' HA.