The Modern Bride's To-Do List

Those of you who know me well are aware that I am fond of lists. They are useful for a) enumerating experiences, b) providing comic effect, and c) preserving relational harmony, as in, 'You can't get mad at me for not taking out the trash even though it is overflowing and smells like rotting cantaloupe, because it WASN'T ON THE LIST you gave me.' See what I mean?

Since I am nothing if not a Modern Bride, I thought I would blog about my bridal agenda:

1) Find someone who will do my make-up and not make me look like either Casper (default setting) or a Vegas drag queen.

2) Adopt a tanning strategy that won't leave me orange, covered in allergic pustules, or visiting a dermatologist every 6 months for the rest of my life.

3) Experience my first bikini wax to prepare for a stubble-free honeymoon.

4) Locate gifts for my bridesmaids that are darling, useful for women ages 14-29, and preferably monogrammed.

5) Meet with personal trainer to tone the delts, eliminate triceps flab, etc.

6) Convince the hacks over at Student Health to write me a prescription for a sleeping aid. I tend to get insomnia when I'm excited, and what's more exciting than transitioning SnuggleBunny (Bob) from live-in boyfriend to husband?

7) Figure out the shoe issue, which has already hit a few glitches. See below.

8) Read self-help book entitled, 'Overcoming Vanity on your Wedding Day.' HA.