Ten ways to annoy me, med school edition

1. Cheat. At anything. Ever. I don't care if you're getting your buddy to sign in for you for attendance points, or paying someone else to take your tests. Your grades affect my grades. And, if you're cheating to pass, I hate the thought of you potentially taking care of my loved ones.

2. Consistently arrive to class 10-15 minutes late. I'll spot you the occasional late arrival, because sometimes traffic is bad, but every day is a little much. Set the alarm earlier.

3. Hold the class hostage with your inane questions. That's what the 10-minute break between classes is for. I need to use the restroom.

4. Have your phone be the SECOND one to go off during class. Everyone occasionally lapses in their cell phone vigilance, myself included. The first phone that rings, though, should be a warning to check your own.

5. Squat in a study room. Either pack up or go home.

6. Constantly complain about transcript quality without ever having written one yourself.

7. Hog the 'temporary use' computers in the quiet study room at noon on a weekday.

8. Eat my Lean Pockets out of the communal freezer, especially when I've taken the time to WRITE MY NAME on them. It is not my responsibility to feed you.

9. Send out mass e-mails complaining about the large number of 'pointless mass e-mails' you've been receiving. We're getting degrees in medicine, not irony.

10. Make excessive bodily noises in communal areas. This includes but is not limited to throat clearing, bored sighing that I can hear across the room, etc.

Trying new things

Some friends recently (and very generously) threw a fantastic lingerie shower for me in anticipation of the upcoming nuptials. At this shower, I received many wondrous items, including a whip (which I hope was given as a joke) that I seriously think could be used to herd livestock.

There was a preponderance of a particular kind of undergarment, one that is often hailed as 'sexy,' as well as practical to wear under tighter-fitting pants and skirts when a smoother silhouette is desired. Prior to the shower, I owned enough of said undergarment only to be prepared when the occasion demanded it. My friends had told me, 'just try it for 5 days and then you'll be hooked.' My response was, 'It shouldn't take me 5 days to get used to underwear.'

But, I like to keep an open mind, so following the shower, I started trying out my new abundance of these dress pants-friendly skivvies. And, to my delight (and astonishment), they weren't heinous! This was something I could do! Take that, Hanes Her Way!

However, this foray into the unknown has not been without its perils. If I have to say one thing about my recent adventure, it's this: thongs and Spinning class do not mix.

I should eat Chinese food more often

Uplifiting fortunes I've acquired from New China Town in the past year or so:

Your spirit of adventure leads you down an exciting new path.

Your troubles will cease and fortune will smile upon you.

Each man is the smith of his own fortune.

You discover treasures where others see nothing unusual.

I haven't, however, played the Lottery yet with my lucky numbers. Instead, I've driven by gas stations where tickets are sold and thrown a couple of dollars out the window.

On Attending Med School in Alabama:

One of my professors, when discussing the negative pressure system of the chest cavity that allows us to breathe, said, 'Those of you who hunt birds will know from cleaning the birds that the chest cavity wants to spring open.'

There's that, and then there's the preponderance of 'real tree' camouflage jackets that are worn un-ironically.