Staying Alive in 2005

Yes,the cheesy title had to be used. Sometimes I just can't resist a good rhyme. I think I have re-discovered my muse today, so don't start reading this post unless you have the time to sit, absorb, and let the words wash over you. I may even have a statistics bit at the end, if I'm up to it.

I can't tell you how nice it is to have experienced the outpouring of support/concern from back home after the tidal wave. It has been all over the news here, and yesterday was a day of mourning in Tamil Nadu, which is where we are right now. We were barred from a few beaches by concerned policemen the day after the tsunami hit. The effects of the devastation we've seen have mostly been in the papers and on the telly, but it's obvious that the aftershocks of this event will be happening for a while. As far as our journey is concerned, we've adopted a "wait and see" attitude for our 5 weeks in Thailand, figuring we've got a month until we get to Bangkok to sort ourselves out.

This country is pretty amazing. In spite of the virtually non-existent waste disposal system and the constant crush of humanity (for example, we're currently in a "small" town of 100,000 people), there's some nice aspects of this place. The people we've met have taken great interest in our group and shown us hospitality that I doubt you could find in the West. We have done a bit of "bush camping," which involves finding a remote piece of land near a village and setting up for the night. Onlookers arrive, scrutinizing every movement, offering cooking tips, and requesting photographs (and cigarettes, and beer; so maybe some of this "hospitality" has an ulterior motive, like the shopkeepers and rickshaw drivers who are oh-so-friendly).

Unlike in many parts of Africa, the feeling of any threat of violence is virtually non-existent. I think part of the reason for this is that we are both giants by local standards. Bob is so much bigger than the men here (both in height and width) that someone asked him if he is a bodybuilder. He once flexed his bicep for a group of kids, and you would have thought that he had breathed fire from the reaction he received.

South India, from what I hear, is far more relaxed than the north, so I'm happy to have had this "break-in" period to give us time to get used to the country. Our group has got on really well with each other and our trip leader Jon is fantastic. Don't know if we'll have a big New Year's rager tonight, but I imagine we'll have a small get-together at our hostel for some drinks and merriment, especially since there's a New Year's birthday in our group (Speaking of, I'll take this opportunity to publicly wish my lovely sister, Kate Mather, as well as Bob's lovely mom, Diane Bartelt, a happy birthday on January 1).

"Night life" is not terribly prevalent, especially if you have 2 X chromosomes. I went out to a bar with the three guys the other night in Kochi and from the looks we received, you would have thought one of us had three heads. One similarity to Africa is that there doesn't seem to be tons of gender mixing; I get the feeling that the men go out and party at night while their wives/mothers/sisters get to stay home and play house. Even a bus we rode on was sex-segregated, with women in the front and men in the back.

And now, taking a page from the Jocular Oxford Herald Newsletter (JOHN), I will give you what you've all been waiting for: India, by the numbers:

Number of minidisc players "redistributed" to the local population:
One. This was largely my fault for leaving it open to the opportunists. Happened the second day we were here, which was a total bummer. Maybe it was "fate theft" and I'll be forced to join the rest of the world and get an iPod.

Number of head injuries caused by low ceilings:
Only one that broke the skin, but I've received multiple bumps from not watching where I'm going, often with the same doorway(how's that for a learning curve?). My genes, early childhood nutrition, and general clumsiness leave me inept for dealing with doorways built for midgets.

Number of times laid up in bed due to a disagreeable tummy:
Bob: two, Mel: one. So if Bob has more than me, who wins? My episode was yesterday, while it was beautiful and sunny out and the rest of the group went hiking around gorgeous tea plantations. No, I'm not bitter. Sorry we discuss it so much, but stomach anxiety is a constant and grim reality of travel here. Every meal is consumed with a certain amount of foreboding and suspicion.

Number of times we've been asked for a pen, for money, for food, for cigarettes, or if we wanted a rickshaw or marijuana:
Too many to count. And climbing.

Enjoy the 5-year anniversary of Y2K!

Of Dravidians and Dirt

I've tried three introductions to this post, and none of them seem to work. The past ten days have been so exciting and varied, it's tough to describe them all in one go. Also, I'm sure Bob is writing something scintillating as well, and I hate to overlap with him.

We're currently in the harbor city of Kochi on the west coast of India in the Kerala province (state?). India's coastline, especially the eastern province of Tamil Nadu, was recently ravaged by a tsunami that has claimed over 20,000 lives in south Asia. Ironically enough, our group was on its way to a boat trip on the backwaters of Kerala when it hit. We didn't even know about it until the day after. It's an interesting thing to turn on the news to see what's going on only to find that the area you're in is the story and you didn't even realize it. How's that for "responsible tourism"?

We spent Christmas in the beachside fishing village turned tourist trap Kovalam, where Bob spent a lot of time posting the non-chronological pictures you see now. Thanks, Bob! Christmas passed without too much notice, except for a "secret Santa" exchange among our group (guess whose idea that was?). I treated myself to a pedicure and Bob treated himself to a 15-hour Christmas nap (the Christmas stomach elves were visiting again).

I had a lot of stuff to say but am finding concentration difficult, since the manager of this internet cafe started BLARING the music 5 minutes after we sat down. What's better, he's adopted the remote control philosophy, not listening to any song for more than 10 seconds before moving on to the next. Silence doesn't seem to be much of a priority in India. Playing Hindi music all night long over the village PA system is especially popular. To be fair, I think we've encountered a 10-day Hindu festival that may have something to do with it (this same festival also resulted in a 5+-hour queue for one of the biggest temple complexes in India--we decided to skip it).

Speaking of music, the dulcet tones of our dear friend Eminem have graced my ears during our visit, but this time with a subcontinental twist. Hearing "One Shot" re-mixed to a Hindi backbeat was truly magical. Also magical is going into a public toilet while not wearing shoes, because they make you remove them when you're visiting a holy site.

I apologize for the patchiness of this post, but I seriously can't muster any more right now. My ear drums are bleeding; I'll try to write more later.

Much love to all. Be safe over the New Year.

For your blogging pleasure

Nothing new in the world here, but I thought I would supply you all with some other blogs that have intrigued me (after all, if everyone reads them, it could be the "discussion topic" that Ms. Averyt so desperately craves. Note that she has FAILED (magnitude of offense is indicated by use of all caps) to comment on my "reality TV" series, but no matter). Sorry for the double parentheses, but it had to be done.

My most recent favorite:
www.julesanddon.blogspot.com
An account of Venable family Christmas, complete with pictures. If you note the times posted and the detail involved, it's obvious that someone (i.e. John Venable) is little stir crazy with school being out and maybe has too much time on his hands. Food for thought.

Fellow travelers:
www.bigfamilytrip.blogspot.com
We met a couple traveling with their 13 and 14 year-old daughters when we were in Nairobi. I had to chuckle at the thought of my own family doing the same. Haven't actually made it to this site yet, but it is probably worth a look.

An oldie but goodie:
www.realitysteve.com
For a Faulknerian report on all of your favorite reality tv shows. Can't find what you're looking for? Try "Reality Roundup."

To make you feel better about your own life:
www.marryblaire.com
Twenty-seven year-old Blaire from New Jersey wanted to be engaged by this December and was using the internet to find a husband. As of November, she was still going on a lot of first dates. Haven't checked her progress lately, but the "Updates" section is usually worth a laugh.

It seems that some folks have been having difficulties posting to the blog, namely posting multiple entries. I have no problem with this, it's just sometimes I get overly excited about the number of new comments.

We're off from Chennai in a bit. Tonight: bush camping on the beach! Should be an experience.

Parrot Ice

Almost paradise...we're knockin' on heaven's door. Paaaaaaridise....

For those of you just joining us, Bob and I are rapidly recovering from a week on the sun-kissed beaches of the island nation of Mauritius (former home of the ill-fated dodo bird, for those in the dark). We kept mostly to ourselves, seeing as how my French vocabulary is limited to about 20 words, most of which communicate to the listener my inability to speak French or understand it. However, we did enjoy seeing large amounts of ageing European flesh swathed in insubstantial amounts of spandex (or, in the case of the very brave, sometimes nothing at all). The future of our currently firm and cute bodies does not look good.

Jorts sightings were numerous, much to my delight. As with most beach destinations, shopping is the secondary activity to sunning. Even though textiles are one of Mauritius's big industries, it wasn't the bonanza of $2 Ralph Lauren clothing that I was expecting. I confronted my disappointment and moved on. My fake Nike shoulder bag helped in the coping process. Bob managed to score a fake Lacoste shirt for himself (both the salesperson and myself chuckled when she told us it was authentic).

We arrived in India earlier this morning and slept off the jet lag despite numerous room-cleaning attempts by our slightly over-zealous hotel staff. Now we're enjoying glorious air conditioning in this internet place where surfing costs 60 cents per hour. All of that IT out-sourcing has meant good things for budget travelers who want to keep in touch.

As always, the comments are appreciated, even if they're sent three times (you know who you are). Apologies to those who have complained that postings haven't been frequent enough; hopefully we can do better now that the internet is more in the price range of Cheapy McCheaperson here.

P.S. Happy birthday to Ben Kettle, if you're reading this! For those of you wanting to get a jump on your shopping, mine's in two months!

Dr. Atkins would be proud

Zero comments on the last post. Ouch. Seriously, ouch.

Bob and I celebrated our arrival in Nairobi last night with a visit to the famed Carnivore Restaurant, where "meat on a stick" is the prevailing theme. We called it "Protein Fest 2004." Since the menu (and therefore the price) was fixed, we ate ourselves stupid. The waiters kept coming around with these giant skewers offering us a variety of dead animals. Our meal included crocodile tidbits, ostrich meatballs, and camel. That's right, we have sampled the desert animals with humps, and they were good. We've actually heard that elephant is quite tasty, but haven't had a chance to sample it. Our taxi driver last night told us about how the people in his village would shoot an elephant when it came into their village and then have a big feast. He also told us that his dad has eight wives.

This same taxi driver, when his vehicle stalled and wouldn't restart, called these three ne'er-do-well looking characters walking on the side of the road to come and give us a push to the nearest gas station, and they did. This is one of those bizarre things about Africa: people help each other out tons, even if they don't know each other, simply because stuff is breaking all the time (even if they look shady). Case in point: our hostel, for some inexplicable reason, does not have water right now. It does have about 30 visiting Ugandan grade school students, however.

Considering the circumstances, we've taken to the streets and are doing our favorite activity: farting around the city before our movie starts. Since we've been in Lusaka and Nairobi the past few days, we've been able to satisfy our craving for cinema. We were able to see "National Treasure" and "Bridget Jones 2" for $8 each. Fantastic. Nicholas Cage, mmmm.

I'm guessing that people aren't commenting either because a) they've realized the writing isn't worth reading on this web site and have stopped visiting, b) it's the Christmas season and they're too damn busy, or c) they're trapped under something heavy. If it's b) or c), I hope that circumstances will change and you can visit again soon. Alternatively, we could have a forum for discussion. The topic is reality TV. What do people think about the fact that Bachelor Bob's reject contestant Mary won the heart of the ageing, mulletted Bachelor Byron? Also, who won the Apprentice? Last time I checked it was down to Sandy, Jennifer M, and Kelly. Clearly Sandy has to go, and Bob thinks that Trump may pick Jen M to gender balance the winners for the 2 seasons, so it's a tough call between Jennifer M and Kelly.

Word.

Lusaka It To Me

As usual, we are spending our time in another African city taking advantage of the infrastructure after a few days in a more remote part of the world and a bus ride to get here. Safari was freakin' incredible. I had been on one last summer at Chobe NP in Botswana that I thought was pretty good, but this one topped it. For two days, we literally went on game drives like it was a paying job--4 hours in the morning (starting at 6 am; days begin early here) and 4 hours in the evening or afternoon. It was only Bob, myself, and this awesome Dutch medical student on the trip. He saw 2 zebras copulating and commented, "Wow, that's really great." It was like watching the Discovery Channel live.

Our guide grew up in the area and could identify A LOT of species, even the smaller fauna which interest me almost as much as the big stuff. Of course, it could have just been clutching at straws--"Maybe if I point out the small stuff they'll be distracted from the fact that we haven't seen a leopard yet." We saw a dung beetle rolling a ball of crap across the road. Fantastic. We also saw three Thornicroft giraffe, unique to this national park and the reason it was declared a game reserve in 1904. There was also a lion kill while we were there, and the day after it happened, we got to watch one of the larger females feasting on zebra spine.

We arrived in Lusaka yesterday and have since had one goal in mind: shopping. After a brief foray into the supersketchy city market, we found a cultural center that sells the usual carvings, etc. Bob got some mad loot; I think he has a better approach to bargaining, which is, "Here's what I'll give you. You can take it or leave it." What a man. Of course, mailing these items home costs as much as it did to purchase them. We wrapped our boxes in copious amounts of tape, filled out the necessary forms, and said a little prayer.

Next time we post, we'll probably be Out of Africa. Until then, Melanie